take it to heart, this is all women’s talk. I love you so much. Nobody manipulated you, you decided for yourself. Everything was in your hands. You weighed and analyzed everything, the conclusion was only yours.
I wink at you girls.
Let's continue.
How my friends got married.
Zhanna, a classmate returned from the army and was the first to take the beauty before anyone else came to their senses. She dreamed of someone else, but now she dotes on him.
Ksenia danced a “gypsy girl” with a witness at a wedding and grabbed this military doctor with a death grip. They corresponded for a long time and finally he called her to his place.
After the first divorce, Tatyana searched for six years, found her one and immediately married her after a couple of months of dating.
Elizabeth got married in the same year that she got divorced. She was such a good young wife to her middle-aged husband that the young active boy immediately captured her in his love captivity, this is what she dreamed of.
The list goes on and on, my story is very different.
The first two cases are about the fact that either settle for mediocrity, or fight for your ideal. The last two are about a state of mind when your demand for the right men is simply at its peak.
I was very ambitious when I started a relationship with Vladislav, and I wanted not just someone, but a whole lot of someone, although I didn’t imagine anything special!
I had not yet grown up to the third and fourth cases, when I myself was such a valuable specimen that the one I wanted asked me to marry.
So yes, if you are in my shoes right now, then take the bull by the horns. Are you afraid? Go forward. Wait for years, gradually lead him to the right decision, and then, if it hits you, then endure it, survive and do the right thing. And perhaps you, like me, will be able to turn failure into the most beautiful family relationship you have ever seen. They will envy you and ask you to share your secret, just like me. It’s not for nothing that I’m writing this book. She is at your request.
Well, I won't torment you for long. I'll tell you about the divorce.
To begin with, I have to give you statistics. How many divorced women are there in the world? The same number as married people. Can you imagine?
Depending on the country, the percentage of divorces varies, somewhere around eighty, somewhere around ten, but the average is fifty.
I don’t know about you, but news like this used to make my hair stand on end.
Now I’m already calmer about this, no one has to be chained to an oath or a promise before God with a spouse who has gone crazy, or you suddenly realized that your roof has come into place. Divorces give you freedom and help you breathe deeper.
But at the same time, it seems to me, they discourage already irresponsible young people. Women and men who have just graduated from university get married, give birth to children, and only then realize that this is not the life they actually dreamed of.
Why irresponsible and not stupid? Because such a large number (let me remind you, half) cannot be stupid, but it’s easy to be irresponsible.
They give up at the slightest difficulty and fail to cope with barriers.
Now, if I were in their place, I would also easily get married without hesitation. Then you can always get a divorce. Yes, perhaps with a doll, but it’s possible.
The point here is different, to what extent I answer to myself that I will get out, survive, cope physically, morally, financially with the divorce. Will I be able to raise my children alone without child support? Will I earn enough to not depend on my parents or the state, have everything I need and achieve self-realization?
Will I be able not to cry and not be depressed because of the loss of love, will I not be lost as a person?
Do you see? If you are sure of this, if you yourself are full-fledged, then divorce is not scary. Moreover, there will most likely not be a divorce.
So this is what happened to me. Of course, I’m no better than any of you, I’m one hundred percent the same.
Do you want hysterics? On those please.
Nag your husband? Get it.
Manipulate sex: “Oh, I’m tired, dear” (and the connection is obvious, because there was a quarrel today)? How many you want.
And you know, like this.
Let yourself go, look at home as if I live alone. As a feminist, so one hundred percent. If they were watching me (there would be such a small camera in the house in a pot of flowers, which I never had until the last couple of years), then someone on the other end would die of laughter at the eccentric face of an indeterminate gender in a robe, gloomy, stooped, always chewing something, sniffing his armpits, itching, it’s even indecent to say where. And all this in the presence of a very specific man, who only occasionally shows his Australopithecus nature.
And this whole ensemble accompanied the music of the funeral march for our marriage.
I was at the peak of my individuality, I wanted to be “as I am,” they say, “love me like a natural phenomenon.”
And my beloved endured and endured until his patience boiled over.
Our scandals were especially wonderful. They could be savored for hours, with breaks for tea.
— I need money for training.
— Where? Did you earn a lot last week?
— Why only me? You earn money too!
— Yes. In
