He moved towards her (он продвинулся поближе к ней). He was now 6 feet away (он был в 6 футах от нее). "Can you hear me?" Still silence (опять: «все еще» тишина).
Finally, he moved directly behind her chair (наконец он продвинулся прямо к ее креслу: «позади ее кресла») and bent over (и нагнулся /через/, перегнулся /to bend-bent-bent/), just inches from her ear (всего лишь в нескольких дюймах от ее уха), "Can you hear me?"
Sarah replied, "For the third time (в третий раз), Maurice, Yes I can!"
Maurice and Sarah were getting old and Maurice felt his wife was losing her hearing.
He decided to stage a test. One day, as Sarah read the paper, he stood a distance behind her chair and said, in a conversational voice, "Can you hear me?" Silence.
He moved towards her. He was now 6 feet away. "Can you hear me?" Still silence.
Finally, he moved directly behind her chair and bent over, just inches from her ear, "Can you hear me?"
Sarah replied, "For the third time, Maurice, Yes I can!"
Can you hear me?
Two Jewish women were sitting under hair dryers at the hairdresser (две еврейские женщины сидели под сушилками в парикмахерской; dry — сухой; to dry — сушить).
Sadie says, "So now, Monah, how's your family? (ну, Мона, как твоя семья)"
Monah responds, (отвечает) "Oh just fine (в порядке: «просто отлично, прекрасно»; fine — тонкий, утонченный; прекрасный, превосходный). My daughter is married to the most wonderful man (моя дочь замужем за самым чудесным мужчиной). She never has to cook (ей никогда не приходится готовить), he always takes her out (он всегда выводит ее в свет, ходит с ней куда-либо). She never has to clean (она не должна убираться; clean — чистый; to clean — чистить), he got her a maid (он нанял ей служанку). She never has to work (работать), he's got such a good job (у него такая хорошая работа). She never has to worry about the children (ей никогда не приходится волноваться о детях), he got her a nanny (он взял ей няню)."
Sadie then asks, "And how is your son these days? (а как ваш сын сейчас: «в эти дни» = как он поживает)"
Monah says, "Just awful (просто ужасно). He is married (он женат) to such a witch of a woman (на такой ведьме). She makes him take her out to dinner every night (она заставляет его водить ее на ужин каждый вечер), she never cooks a dish (никогда не готовит; dish — блюдо). She made him get her a maid (она заставила его взять служанку), God forbid (боже упаси) she should vacuum a carpet (если она почистит ковер /пылесосом/). He has to work like a dog (он должен работать, как собака) because she won't get a job and she never takes care of their children (потому что она не хочет устроиться на работу: «получить, взять работу» и она никогда не занимается детьми, не заботится о детях), because she made him get her a nanny! (потому что она заставила его взять ей няню)"
Two Jewish women were sitting under hair dryers at the hairdresser.
Sadie says, "So now, Monah, how's your family?"
Monah responds, "Oh just fine. My daughter is married to the most wonderful man. She never has to cook, he always takes her out. She never has to clean, he got her a maid. She never has to work, he's got such a good job. She never has to worry about the children, he got her a nanny."
Sadie then asks, "And how is your son these days?"
Monah says, "Just awful. He is married to such a witch of a woman. She makes him take her out to dinner every night, she never cooks a dish. She made him get her a maid, God forbid she should vacuum a carpet. He has to work like a dog because she won't get a job and she never takes care of their children, because she made him get her a nanny!"
How's your family?
Just awful.
A town in Poland had only one cow (в одном городке в Польше была только одна корова), and it stopped giving milk (и она перестала давать молоко). The townspeople (жители городка) did a little research (навели справки: «сделали небольшое расследование») and discovered (и выяснили: «обнаружили, открыли») they could get a cow from Moscow (что они могут купить: «достать, взять» корову в Москве: «из Москвы») for 2,000 rubles, but they could get a cow from Minsk for only 1,000 rubles (а корову из Минска всего за 1000 рублей). So, they got the cow from Minsk (они взяли корову из Минска).
It was a great cow (это была отличная корова; great — великий; замечательный, прекрасный), gave lots of milk (давала много молока) and lots of cream (и много сливок), and everybody loved this cow (и все любили эту корову = всем она нравилась). The people decided they would mate the cow (люди решили спарить корову) and get more cows (и получить больше коров), and then they would never have to worry (и тогда им бы никогда /больше/ не пришлось волноваться) about their milk supply again (о снабжении их молоком; to supply — снабжать, поставлять). So, they got a bull (они взяли, нашли быка) and led the cow and the bull into the pasture (и погнали корову и быка на пастбище /to lead-led-led — вести/). When the bull came in from the right (когда бык зашел справа) to mount the cow (чтобы покрыть корову; to mount — взбираться, подниматься), the cow moved to the left (корова подвинулась влево). When the bull moved in to mount the cow from the left, the cow moved to the right. This went on all day (так продолжалось целый день).
Finally, in desperation (в отчаянии), the people decided to ask the rabbi what to do (люди решили спросить рабби, что делать). After all, he was very wise (ведь он был очень мудрым). They told him the story (они рассказали ему эту историю /to tell-told-told/). "Rabbi, we've tried all day (мы пытались целый день) to mate our cow. When the bull moves in from the right the cow moves left, and when the bull moves in from the left the cow moves to the right. What do we do? (что нам делать)"
The rabbi thought a moment and said (подумал секунду и сказал), "So, why did you buy this cow from Minsk? (а зачем вы купили эту корову в Минске)"
"Rabbi," they said, "you are so wise. We never said we bought the cow from Minsk (мы /никогда = вовсе/ не говорили тебе, что купили корову в Минске). How did you know that? (как ты это узнал)"
The rabbi said, "My wife is from Minsk (моя жена из Минска)."
A town in Poland had only one cow, and it stopped giving milk. The townspeople did a little research and discovered they could get a cow from Moscow for 2,000 rubles, but they could get a cow from Minsk for only 1,000 rubles. So they got the cow from Minsk.
It was a great cow, gave lots of milk and lots of cream, and everybody loved this cow. The people decided they would mate the cow and get more cows, and then they would never have to worry about their milk supply again. So they got a bull and led the cow and the bull into the pasture. When the bull came in from the right to mount the cow, the cow moved to the left. When the bull moved in to mount the cow from the left, the cow moved to the right. This went on all day.
Finally, in desperation, the people decided to ask the rabbi what to do. After all, he was very wise. They told him the story. "Rabbi, we've tried all day to mate our cow. When the bull moves in from the right the cow moves left, and when the bull moves in from the left the cow moves to the right. What do we do?"
The rabbi thought a moment and said, "So, why did you buy this cow from Minsk?"
"Rabbi," they said, "you are so wise. We never said we bought the cow from Minsk. How did you know that?"
The rabbi said, "My wife is from Minsk."
What do we do?
How did you know that?
The upset and concerned housewife Rivkah (расстроенная и озабоченная домохозяйка Ривка; to upset — опрокидывать; расстраивать) sprang to the telephone (подскочила к телефону /to spring-sprang-sprung — прыгать/) when it rang (когда тот позвонил /to ring-rang-rung/) and listened with relief (и слушала с облегчением) to the kindly voice (добрый голос).
"Darling, How are you? This is Mummy (дорогая, как ты, это мамочка)."
"Oh Mummy," she said, "I'm having a bad day (у меня плохой день)."
Breaking into bitter tears (разрыдавшись: «разразившись горькими слезами» /to break-broke-broken — ломать/), she continued (она продолжала), "The baby won't eat (ребенок не хочет есть) and the washing machine broke down (и стиральная машина сломалась). I haven't had a chance to go shopping (я не имела возможности сходить за покупками) and besides (и вдобавок), I've just sprained my ankle (я только что растянула лодыжку) and I have to hobble around (и должна хромать). On top of that (в довершение всего; top — вершина, верхушка), the house is a mess (дома бардак, беспорядок) and I'm supposed to have the Goldbergs and the Rosens for dinner tonight (мне нужно принять: «предполагается, что я приму» Голдбергов и Розенов на ужин сегодня вечером; to suppose — предполагать)."
The voice on the other end said in sympathy (голос на другом конце сказал сочувственно), "Darling, let Mummy handle it (дорогая, позволь маме с этим разобраться; to handle — брать руками; управлять, регулировать)."
She continued, "Sit down, relax, and close your eyes (сядь, расслабься и закрой глаза). I'll be over in half an hour (я буду через полчаса). I'll do your shopping (я схожу /за тебя, для тебя/ в магазин), clean up the house (приберусь в доме; clean — чистый; to clean up — вычистить, убраться), and cook your dinner for you (и приготовлю ужин для тебя, вместо тебя). I'll feed the baby (я накормлю ребенка) and I'll call an engineer I know (и позвоню мастеру, которого я знаю) who'll be at your house to fix the washing machine in 30 minutes (который будет в твоем доме, чтобы починить стиральную машину, через 30 минут).
Now stop crying (а сейчас перестань плакать). I'll do everything (я все сделаю). In fact (действительно, на самом деле), I'll even call your husband David at the office (я даже позвоню твоему мужу Дэвиду в офис) and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once (я скажу ему, что он должен прийти и помочь сейчас же; once - однажды; же, — ка /усилит. частица/)."
"David?" said Rivkah. "Who's David? (кто это Дэвид)"
"Why, David 's your husband! (как Дэвид твой муж) … Is this (это) 0208 123 3749?"
"No, this is 0208 123 3747."
"Oh, I'm sorry (о, извините). I guess I have the wrong number (видимо, я набрала не тот номер)."
