Once lived through all of this - and then
I have forgotten who I was,
Who were my friends, who were my foes,
How I was called, and how I died ...
This feeling does constantly bite,
But still my memory is mist ...
It's like I start with empty list.
And yet some sparks of former life
Feel very old the time I dive
Into reflection of myself -
And this makes squeeze my soul nerve.
I feel I once had many names ...
Are these but dreams, just madness games?
I might have gone completely mad,
But these feelings long have bred.
I worn them all, they were like clothes
For man with many names I was
And many faces I once had ...
I am, no doubt, truly mad.
How one can live the endless life
And pass through death ... and still survive?
And still in times remember that
Another own name he had?
They are all mine, I once were them,
All these persons in the pram,
Like were-man I always shift ...
Is it a curse, is it a gift?
Is there is one beyond them all
That is my only truly goal,
The one, who never had the name,
The Nameless One ... are we the same?
I will remember once them all
For this is only worthy goal ...
The time will come, I'll pass through flames
To be the Man Of Many Names.
04.05.2008
One always speaks about self
Whether through action or just barf,
But words may too have sort of price -
They serve as tools for those who’re wise.
Who am I then to speak of me?
From pain of past it makes you free,
So now I'm throwing it aboard -
My truly useless, bloody world.
I may be warm, I may be cold,
I am both fearful and bold,
For some I'm moon, for others sun,
From both I'm always in the run.
I am quite normal and still mad,
I am both happy and both sad,
And during life's entire span
I will be known as no-one.
And I can fight, and I can hide,
I'm still so weak ... and full of might,
I'm own master, own pet,
Is it just good, is it so bad?
I am both known and unnamed,
Inside I'm wild, but act like tamed,
I am always free and yet enslaved,
I'm used to speak the truth and raved.
In times I'm kind, sometimes fierce,
I was born there - and from stars,
I am, like others, one of a kind,
I'm often wrong, sometimes I'm right.
If I had time I would but try
To find the means to soar for sky,
But first I have to reach just me -
This kind of knowledge makes one's free.
Of what I am, and who I was -
I'll have to answer to all those
Silented questions of my past ...
I am not first, I am not last.
18.08.2008
I am the voice of Evolution,
I am the bringer of Confusion,
I am the whisper in the Noise,
I am the teller of the Choice.
I am one of Many, who're now Few,
I am the maker of new View,
In universe I'm like a Grain
Yet what I do is not in Vain.
No more Pet, no longer Beast,
The road is clear - doesn't twist,
I'm flying now on Wings of Fate,
I've come in time to pass the Gate.
The world is shifting in Frustration,
But underneath lives New Formation.
It won't be quick, it will take time
As this New Order starts to shine.
You see the roof, I look in depths,
To find Divine I take the steps,
Believe or not, one day you'll see -
It is not I - it's all through me.
For those who find are never Wany ...
I'm not alone - I'm one of Many.
22.04.2010
There is a power in the name
That may be scorched by the fame,
And that is why the truly wise
Will once destroy those painful ties,
He will become the Nameless One,
For he is child of the sun,
For he has travelled his life's road
In search of universal God,
And he's already seen a lot,
Still being smallest spark of God,
Still feeling crawlings of sensation
That he is one of His creation.
Oh, does it matter who he is?
He has to pay his own fees
To burn inside this smallest spark
And free the past out of dark.
The name was given once again ...
Is it too old to live on then?
It has some power of the steep -
And part of it I will then keep.
The second part means nothing now,
For it reminds me of the Row,
And as suggested by the God
This part I'll throw on passed road.
What does it mean - the change of name?
Inside myself I'm still the same.
And I was free to create name
That may stand up against fame,
It is both real and both not,
For I'm but smallest spark of God,
In second name I'm long too plunged -
It is untouched, first is changed.
When time will come to pay my fee,
Those blessed with Word will join me.
This word will grow like eucaliptus -
And in your lifes it'll be Post Scriptus.
16.06.2010
It is the dream of my origin,
For in the dreams I am still virgin,
And still I'm fighting with my sleep,
But hesitate - that's why I weep.
My worthless dreams I must deny,
But still afraid to make the try,
For who am I now to decide
What dream is wrong, what dream is right?
My purest dream is that of bird -
It is the symbol of the world
Which always change and born anew,
This bird I am, like it I flew.
For like a phoenix I reborn ...
My wings may melt, my wings may worn,
But I'm constantly born anew,
I'm many-faced in others view.
I am restored in the fire,
The fire's cold, that fire's dire,
It forges one's wings to make him flyer ...
It is a grand sight to admire.
From former ego it deprives,
And, as its victim slowly dies,
His flesh begins to grow anew ...
And still survivors are so few.
I'm passing through this coldest hell,
My burning skin is all I smell,
My former past will once unfold ...
It is a strange sight to behold.
For I am one without name,
I've lost my past, rejected fame,
The Earth will never be my home ...
I will be free the time I'm gone.
All other worlds awaiting me ...
I will awake, I shall break free,
Inside myself I'm searching deeper -
Such is the fate of the Unsleeper.
No one can help me on my path,
I'm always self, I'm never "us",
Through divine hell I'm passing by
To forge the wings for final flight.
The time will come, I will reborn,
My former skin myself I'll torn,
Reborn anew, becoming flyer -
It's all the wish, it's one's desire.
03.07.2009
What of me? I'm good, you see,
I am the one, who just broke free,
I am those one, who wants to change
Imperfect world within my range.
You people are the strangest guys -
And yet this humankind survives.
I wonder - will it last for long?
Of those my thoughts I'll sing a song.
I want to see you all the better,
Say, more slim and less fatter...
You hear me? Healthy life rules!
Oh, you do not? Then you are fools!
Stop wasting time and start to work -
And your achievements will just rock!
You hear that? I know of this!
And hold your anger, hold it, miss!
Forget your sorrows and be happy...
Or do you need a soul-nappy?
It is a pleasure to just live -
So start to smile and to thrive!
Reject your anger, calm your mind
And leave those selfish thoughts behind!
I am your brother and your sister...
And stop looking like that, you, mister!
Move close to nature, leave the city
And thus rejoice at true world's beauty!
We are the nature beings, men,
And must accept her, now and then!
Make friends and peace in all the world -
That's our future, I've been told.
So now make peace, forget wars, please,
Hold on your fire, cease it, cease!
Reject yourself to find new one,
To see you as a divine son,
Stop webbing those words on the shelf -
"To know the world is to know yourself"!
You hear me? I know of that!
To help you see the truth I'm glad!
Hey, you, stop throwing this at me,
I'm not a jester, don't you see?!
There is a way out of this maze -
Your mindless life you need to raze!
That's how for now I end my phrase ...
No more, I can't hold your gaze!
You'll ask for future of this one,
If he became that "divine son"?
Oh, he soon died in foreign lands -
And that is how this story ends.
23.03.2007
I've come to this for now at last -
All past no more than a dust
With dead ideals full of rust
Now blown away with fresh wind's gust.
I am much older that I seem,
No more than a chip in stream,
I am no body and no mind ...
The day they die - I'll live behind.
I am the many, and still one,
All these "me"s look just so fun,
And day by day they passing by ...
It is all me - and still not I.
I have no wings - thus cannot fly,
There are no means to make a try,
And still I say - the heavens' mine,
In own dreams I soar just fine.
But what I do - I do for me,
It is myself whom I make free,
It's only I who sees the change
And all the rest may find it strange.
And in the way to consciousness skies
I have been given one small prize
Which is a key to final cage -
This given word will free the sage.
It is a weapon, this word's blade,
From ore of stars it has been made,
And though this gift may not be perfect -
It is a wonderful side effect...
22.06.2008
I am just a silent monk
And have no a silver tongue,
Though I'll try to sing a song
Of how deeply I have sunk.
Will I ever find the words
To describe my feelings hordes?
Will thy known how long I've prayed
To restore the faith betrayed?
But I'm willing to describe
How the bonds of love are tight,
Though it is like a bitter wine...
All in all, the song is mine.
It was month ago, no less,
I was making strong progress
On the way to saturation
Of the soul in starvation.
Praying hard in starless nights,
Hardening my spirit sights,
Strengthening my own rights
In the defect's endless fights.
Those were days of saturation
Of the soul in starvation ...
But so little has been done
To become enlighted one.
And one day all this has crashed,
Own faith myself I’ve smashed,
Brought to kneels of own soul,
Failed to achieve my goal.
Woman entered my hut -
All in all, she was not heard,
Almost naked, head to torso,
Crying and afraid was also.
When she noticed me at home
All her fears have just gone,
And she moved to me at once
With her flashing, stunning glance.
Asking me to help her hide,
Doing once the thing that's right...
Stunned, shocked I have stayed
And my faith I have betrayed.
Asked me if she could sit
And my candle she has lit,
Then she told me how she ran
Through the forest by the sun.
Hoping to escape the life
That have cut her like a knife,
Telling me of former lover
And her prison in the tower.
She was married for a knight -
Cruel one, whose bonds were tight,
Who have tossed her by night
On the bed to start his .. fight.
Who has no the need for feeling,
Who loved not and hurt her being,
Who was madman of some sort...
Crying she was as she told.
