Play on 3, 4, 5 people. As if I gave it to you - Николай Владимирович Лакутин

ATTENTION! ALL COPYRIGHTS TO THE PLAY ARE PROTECTED BY THE LAWS OF RUSSIA AND INTERNATIONAL LAW, AND BELONG TO THE AUTHOR. IT IS FORBIDDEN ITS PUBLICATION AND REPUBLICATION, REPRODUCTION, PUBLIC PERFORMANCE, TRANSLATION INTO FOREIGN LANGUAGES, CHANGES IN THE TEXT OF THE PLAY IN THE FORMULATION WITHOUT THE WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR. THE PRODUCTION OF THE PLAY IS POSSIBLE ONLY AFTER A DIRECT CONTRACT IS CONCLUDED BETWEEN THE AUTHOR AND THE THEATER.

Comedy. Duration: 1 hour and 30 minutes.

One-act play.

STANISLAV-husband;

GALINA-wife;

MASHA is my wife's friend;

IGOR is a friend of my husband.

HERMAN is my wife's first love.

Male roles do not overlap, three or two male roles can be played by one actor.

Family atmosphere. Sofa, wardrobe, table, three chairs, bookshelves, chest of drawers. Something is lying somewhere, something is standing somewhere. The apartment is not inhabited by perfectionists, and this is a very understatement.

Soft, rhythmic music plays.

From behind the scenes, an iron bowl with the remains of borscht flies into the room, followed by a pan and clangs on the floor. Splashes of water and some of the reddish contents are scattered across the stage.

The music stops.

STANISLAV'S ANGRY CRY IS HEARD: Yes etit your left! How long has it been possible? All the salt of Russia (Italy, Germany… – possible options for the countries where the production is taking place), it seems to be in this pot! Galya! (the Cry with amplification) Galya!!! My wife is the mother of my unborn children fortunately! (Maliciously) Where are you, joy!

I HEAR GALINA's VOICE: Well, what do you want, well, I'm here, well?

There is a scream of Galina passing to a screech.

CREEK STUPNIKOVA: Come from? Well, my beloved salt shaker… As promised. Get it-sign it!

Sounds fancy loud music.

Galina screams out of the wings, rushes across the stage and disappears on the other side of the stage. Behind her, with a ladle in his hand, rushes the enraged husband, hiding in the same place behind the scenes.

The music stops.

I hear the sound of clothing tearing.

STANISLAV's VOICE FROM behind the SCENES (confused): Oops…

There is a scream from Galina that turns into a screech, only even more furious.

Sounds fancy loud music.

Stanislav skips out of the wings, looks around warily, and rushes across the stage backstage again. Behind him, in a torn dress, Galina rushes furiously and ferociously with a ladle in one hand and a slipper in the other. One of her Slippers was stuck on her foot, and the other was bare. The torn dress hangs down, gets in the way, she always corrects it, tries to hold it, catches up with her husband.

The couple hides behind the scenes.

The music stops.

Galina enters the stage with a floor rag in her hand. Throws a rag, picks up a pot, a bowl. He nods his head in resignation.

GALINA: Run away, parasite. Well, Stas, well I'll get you back…

Wipes the soup off the floor.

Masha enters the apartment, stops in confusion, looking at the picture of what is happening.

Galina notices her guest, wiping the sweat from her brow.

GALINA: Oh, hi, Mashun. What are your fates?

MASHA (with interest): Tick, Hello. I was just … walking by, so I think I'll go see my friend. Why are you all this… this… huh?

GALINA: Yes… (sighs, continues to wipe the floor). I had a little argument with my husband.

MASHA (with interest): Wow, a little…

GALINA: Believe me, my friend, it's still a little bit! When there is a lot, then there is no rag to eliminate the consequences. We have to call a team of finishers, buy new appliances, sometimes furniture… in General, everything is family-style. Well, you don't understand, you're a free bird.

MASHA: Yes… No, I actually sometimes start to think seriously about starting a family. Husband there, children, well, like everyone else. Then I come to visit you and…

GALINA: Yes, I understand. Not start.

MASHA: I don't blame you, live as you want, but I don't want to do it like this (he gestures at the wreckage) in a family way.

GALINA: if you don't want to, don't. No one forces you to.

MASHA: What didn't you share this time?

GALINA: Yes, you understand…

Galina puts the rag aside and sits down on the floor more comfortably.

GALINA: In General, while I was cooking borscht, I added extra salt once. Apparently. Well, she did. We were talking on the phone at the moment.

MASHA: Well, what's wrong?

GALINA: Well, I've salted it several times before.

MASHA: Why?

GALINA: Yes, because I try – not salty borscht turns out. I'll throw another pinch, try-again no. Still add. And then I started talking to you, and then I started talking to you again.

MASHA: So, over-salted, with whom does not happen, so what is the whole tragedy in this?

GALINA: Yes, you know, he doesn't like salty things at all. Eats some kind of all lean. And then I made a mistake. Well, here we are fighting for this topic. All my efforts were wasted. How I would! (swings in feelings).

MASHA: Okay. Listen, do you know who I just met?

Masha passes through the room, settles down, creates an intrigue with her intonation and facial expressions.

GALINA: Who?

MASHA (leans back on the sofa): Well, guess what?

Masha smiles slyly, but Gale is not up to fortune tellers.

GALINA: I don't know. Who?

MASHA: Well…, think-think…

Galina gets up from the floor, picks up a rag, a pot, a bowl, and looks at her friend.

GALINA: Why are we smiling so slyly, huh?

MASHA: Well, well?

GALINA (changes face, extremely surprised): Come on…

MASHA (triumphantly): Daaaaaa!

GALINA: Noooo..

MASHA: yeah Yeah!

Galina returns to her usual state, excitement and interest instantly